


Group Chat (NO FUNNY BUSINESS!!!!)

by PumpkinKip



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games), Call of Duty: Zombies - Fandom
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Discord - Freeform, Gen, M/M, Modern AU, Nikolai Belinski is a little shit, chat, chatfic, its a modern chatfic, its chaos, swearing + dirty jokes ahead, thats it, the main 4 + Sam are like late hs age, will continue if wanted this is fun to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22887211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinKip/pseuds/PumpkinKip
Summary: [L. Maxis created: Group Chat (NO FUNNY BUSINESS!!!!)][L. Maxis invited: E. Richtofen, S. Maxis, T. Dempsey, T. Masaki and N. Belinski][E. Richtofen, S. Maxis, T. Dempsey, T. Masaki and N. Belinski are Online]S. Maxis: oh?L. Maxis: We need a chat in case we need to talk as a group, this is for plans and serious conversation only!T. Dempsey: I give it 5 minsN. Belinski: i’m betting on 2, winner gets mcdsT. Dempsey: you’re on
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if there are any mistakes! not betad, please point out any you find so I can fix em!

** [L. Maxis created: Group Chat (NO FUNNY BUSINESS!!!!)] **

** [L. Maxis invited: E. Richtofen, S. Maxis, T. Dempsey, T. Masaki and N. Belinski] **

** [E. Richtofen, S. Maxis, T. Dempsey, T. Masaki and N. Belinski are Online] **

S. Maxis: oh?

L. Maxis: We need a chat in case we need to talk as a group, this is for plans and serious conversation only!

T. Dempsey: I give it 5 mins

N. Belinski: i’m betting on 2, winner gets mcds 

T. Dempsey: you’re on

L. Maxis: NO!! NO FUNNY BUSINESS! READ THE NAME!

E. Richtofen: What is this??

E. Richtofen: Oh.

T. Masaki: I will add in my bet, I’m voting on 3 minutes.

L. Maxis: NOT YOU TOO!!

T. Dempsey: jeeze have some faith in us, Tak

T. Masaki: that is difficult

S. Maxis: I think the chaos has already started 

** [N. Belinski changed nickname to drunk] **

** [T. Dempsey changed nickname to Tank] **

** [S. Maxis changed nickname to Sammy] **

T. Masaki: Where is the button?

Sammy: Top left!

T. Masaki: Thank you.

** [T. Masaki changed nickname to Takeo] **

** [E. Richtofen changed nickname to Ed] **

L. Maxis: NO FUNNY NAMES?.? HOW DO I CHANGE IT

drunk: don’t tell him please

Ed: I’ll show you.

drunk: asshat

Takeo: Top Ten Anime Betrayals on watchmojo

Sammy: Dad stop being a boomer

** [L. Maxis changed drunk’s nickname to Nikolai] **

Nikolai: ew

** [Nikolai changed nickname to drunk] **

L. Maxis: STOP!!!

L. Maxis: what is a boomer? Samantha?

Sammy: Old

L. Maxis: I AM NOT THAT OLD SAMANTHA

Ed: Yes you are.

Takeo: Yes, you are.

Tank: yeah you are.

drunk: ^^^

L. Maxis: ...

L. Maxis: I am going to make dinner, I expect better behaviour once I return!

** [L. Maxis has went Offline] **

drunk: now hell breaks loose

drunk: how long was that?

Takeo: Two minutes, your guess was right.

drunk: awww yeah

Tank: when we gonna go to McDonald’s??

Sammy: Me + Ed can’t now dinner’s being made

Tank: tomorrow??

Takeo: Fine for me.

Sammy: yeah that’s chill @Ed??

Ed: I’m free

Tank: @drunk down?

drunk: you say that like I ever have plans

Tank: I thought you might want to leave your hole for once

drunk: never

Sammy: is that like healthy?

drunk: ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ 

Sammy: don’t shruggie at me little man

drunk: what you gonna do??

Tank: put things on high shelves

Sammy: ^ yeah

drunk: cruel :,(

Tank: it’s what you get rat boy

drunk: wow ily2 tommy <\333

Tank: <<33333

Sammy: disgostang

Ed: Stop being gross in the chat it’s been 5 minutes.

Takeo: You have direct messages, use them.

drunk: we just got ganged up on

Tank: f

Sammy: f

Ed: f

Takeo: f

Sammy: anyways @drunk I’m still breaking into your apartment and putting everything up high

drunk: :((( i’m sowwy mr obawma 

Ed: Please never type like that again 

drunk: okei mistaw ôwô

Ed: Oh my god @L. Maxis please

drunk: oh shit

** [L. Maxis is Online] **

L. Maxis: WHAT??

Ed: Mute @drunk

Tank: we need a democratic vote

Ed: Everyone who wants him muted type I

Ed: I

Tank: I

drunk: I

Takeo: I

Sammy: oh my god he just got destroyed

Sammy: wait why did you vote to get muted @drunk

drunk: i wanted to feel included 

Sammy: oh

Sammy: L

L. Maxis: ok how do I mute?”

Ed: I’ll show you

** [L. Maxis muted drunk for 10 minutes] **

** [L. Maxis went Offline] **

Tank: f  ✌️😔

Ed: f

Sammy: don’t f him you voted for it

Takeo: f

** [drunk went Offline] **

Sammy: i am outnumbered

Tank: oh god he’s comdmddcdfvdfdvvfjin

Tank: i’m back motherfuckesassxd

Tank: skate fast eat assnajisns

Tank: he took my phone

Sammy: how he’s tiny

Ed: Weak.

Tank: got me by surprise little fuck

Sammy: oh my god

Takeo: Rest in peace

Sammy: has he given up??

Tank: yeah I think sisscdvfbvfjvnfjvnffv

Tank: no i haven’t fuckers!!!

Tank: aasssnjidLITTLE SHIT

Tank: i was wrong

Tank: but i have detained him now

Takeo: How, May I ask?

Sammy: did you knock him out?

Tank: no he’s in a blanket burrito

Ed: A shame

Sammy: awww

Sammy: oh heckers dinner is ready

Tank: what in the ever loving fuck is a ‘’heckers’’’

Takeo: This is a Christian server, Dempsey.

Ed: ^

Ed: But we have to go to eat

Sammy: Yeah!

Sammy: @drunk don’t get killed trying to phonejack 

Tank: I wouldn’t kill himmmmm ((no promises))

** [Ed went Offline] **

** [Sammy went Offline] **

** [Tank went Offline] **

** [Takeo went Offline]  **


	2. Chapter 2

** [Tank is Online] **

** [Ed is Online] **

** [Sammy is Online] **

** [Takeo is Online] **

Sammy: What time are we going out?

Takeo: I’m ready now if everyone else is.

Ed: So am I.

Tank: same but nik’s still asleep

Ed: It’s?? 4pm??

Tank: yeah

Sammy: when has that ever stopped him? He was still up at 10 when I woke up

Takeo: What on Earth was he doing

Tank: was it Minecraft

Sammy: yeah

Takeo: That is.. some amount of dedication

Ed: I think it’s just not having a life at that point

Tank: ssh he’s fine I can wake him up anyways 

Ed: You can try.

Sammy: yeah he sleeps like a fucking brick

Tank: ik I’ll just throw him down the stairs or soemthing 

Ed: please do

Sammy: You wouldn’tttt you care about him too much ;)

Tank: shut up

Sammy: ;)))

Takeo: It is rather obvious.

Tank: doesn’t matter

** [drunk is Online] **

Tank: ok shut up he’s awake 

drunk: what

Sammy: good evening sleeping beauty

drunk: it’s only 4pm shuttt

Ed: only??

drunk: this is early for me

Takeo: That is rather concerning.

drunk: ain’t my problem

Tank: yeah it is??? anyways you down to go now?

drunk: oh yeah mcds

drunk: fuck yeahhhhh

Tank: sickkkk

drunk: sickkkkk

Sammy: ok finally 

Takeo: I’ll be there in 20 minutes

** [Takeo went Offline] **

Sammy: Seconded for me and Ed

** [Ed went Offline] **

** [Sammy went Offline] **

drunk: k

** [Tank went Offline] **

drunk: huh

** [drunk went Offline] **

\- - - - -

** [Tank is Online] **

Tank: McDonald’s is so good

** [Sammy is Online] **

** [Ed is Online] **

Sammy: agreed

** [drunk is Online] **

drunk: not when you spill hot coffee on your thighs

Sammy: when??. Why??

Tank: a couple of months ago

Tank: I was there it was so fucking funny

drunk: isn’t there a video of it??

Sammy: OOH YEAH

** [Takeo is Online] **

Takeo: Why were you recording instead of helping, @Tank?

Tank: because it was funny

drunk: I agree it was fucking hilarious

Ed: send the video

Tank: @drunk you got it?

drunk: riplegs.mp4

drunk: yeah

Sammy: Thats why you wear normal trousers 

drunk: it was warm

Takeo: If this was a couple of months back wouldn’t that make it winter still?

drunk: and??

Tank: it was snowing on that day

drunk: and????

drunk: it was warm

Ed: fucking Russians

Sammy: thats karma for wearing short shorts in negative degree weather

drunk: they’re comfy :(

Sammy: k a r m a

drunk: next time it’s super cold I’m wearing short shorts just to piss you all off

Tank: *y’all

drunk: shut the fuck up yankeee man

Takeo: Please do not. You will get hypothermia.

Sammy: now THAT would be karma

Sammy: how did you survive boiling coffee to the skin though? I’ve spilled some through my shirt and even that hurt like hell

drunk: oh I didn’t 

drunk: the video cuts off before the shock wears off

drunk: I sat in a bath of cold water for like an hour

Ed: Did you go to the hospital?

drunk: hell no

Ed: How have you not died yet?

Tank: pure luck

Sammy: Yeah probably

Sammy: didn’t he get onto the roof when he first got here when he was like 10

drunk: YES I DID THERES ALSO A VIDEO OF THAT

drunk: it’s on some old camcorder somewhere it’s so fucking funny

Tank: Rapt is crying in it and Monty is trying to convince you to come down

Sammy: I was recording!!

Tank: i wanted to go up too 

drunk: yeah you’re whining that’s it’s unfair that I got on the roof and you didn’t

Takeo: How did you get up there??

drunk: climbed a tree I think

Ed: And why?

drunk: that I don’t know

drunk: i probably just wanted to

Tank: he likes to feel tall

drunk: i do :(

Tank: fucking short ass

drunk: go hit your head off a doorframe big man

Tank: go climb on a stool to reach the top shelves little man

drunk: >:/

Sammy: watch out Tom he’ll climb on you

Tank: haha

drunk: i’m being bullied by the tall people

Ed: Good

drunk: it’s not my fault i stopped growing when I was like 12 :(

drunk: i got a shirt a few sizes bigger when I was like 13 to ‘grow into’ and it’s still too big :/

Tank: maybe you’ll finally grow when you’re like 25

Sammy: learn to walk on stilts 

drunk: maybe ill just wear high shoes and hairspray my hair up

Sammy: Don’t steal jenna marbles ideas

drunk: ssssh

Sammy: no


End file.
